Me, I claim my mind is like a steel sieve – the trivial stuff stays in, and the important stuff falls thru.

Oh, yeah, so many of these. Late, forget things etc. Oy.

As to trying to be that person that other people will like, that is classic adhd thought process! We expend a lot of energy in people-pleasing. It has to do with our self-esteem, how we were treated growing up, and not just by parents and teachers. I never effortlessly fit into any group, I was always that awkward kid who tried too hard, who never really “got it” about the other far-more-popular kids. So I tried to mold myself into someone who fit into that group. It never really worked. I finally had a very profound insight, I think I was in my 40s by then. I realized that there are 6 billion people on this planet, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to please all of them. I still do, of course, when I say “yes” to things that I shouldn’t. “Sure, I can write that website, when do you want it? Tomorrow? Ok!” I think the key things are, keep learning about ourselves. Have compassion for ourselves. Heed our insights, and try to choose whether we consciencely want to continue a certain behavior or thought pattern. Try not to only choose the easiest way. Also key — find our tribe! They’re there. And they accept us as we are, with all our gifts, nothing held back. Hmmm. Didn’t mean to lecture… 🌟💙🌟😎

Before i go on and only offer advice here, i want to let you know that it is hard feeling like things are passing you buy and you are not accepted for the person you are. Its especially hurtful when we are at our worst randomly and ironically need it most and do not recieve the validation that we matter and our feelings mater and that we are also not crazy. We just simply have an executive function based deficit (adhd) that makes certain things harder and us work a bit differently. But we still are human, and we still matter. and for that mam, i wish to simply say that you are right, it is frustrating and at times even hopeless. just know there is hope, and if able check out the two things below.

I Recomend looking up 2 things online seperate from the link below but also check that out too. its a skill i feel every one of our families would benefit to practice and learn together, for our sake and theirs.

1) Emotional Validation – likley a skill you need to learn as much as your family. Note we tend to have a way of being more invalidated due to the unique nervous system we have. its important people in adhd relationships recognize the importance of this skill in their families and relationships.
https://www.slideshare.net/UmiAdzlinSilim/the-power-of-emotional-validation

2) look up Motivational Interview – its how to get people to change not in a permissive or directing way, but in a guiding way that is collaborative and cares about the persons capacity to change.

3) only a calm mind can actually see reality and help to solve these problems, get a talking stick to prevent interrupting, and a cup of tea and possibly sit down with them.

if any of that helps, im glad. otherwise just know that if anything i have always learned that even in hitting rock bottom that there is always a way forward, and even in the fog of life, there be always an answer to return us to the path of life.

I have always felt the same way and have accumulated many acquaintances throughout my life. I’m just now learning that I have ADHD and I’ll be 30 on June 5th with no wife or kids, so I’m still figuring it out. 😁