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What does a functionally organized home look like? For families with working parents and school-age children, it’s most essential (and difficult) to organize rooms and backpacks. For remote workers, organizing the home office is essential for your day-to-day work life. What doesn’t work: Closets filled with children’s sports equipment, school supplies, and decades-old clothing if you’re an empty nester or older adult with ADHD.

Embracing the season of life you’re in right now is one of the most creative and freeing things you can do to make your home optimally functional. In this webinar, you will:

• Gain a better understanding of how to organize your space for each phase of life
• Learn how to set realistic expectations so that everyone in the household can contribute to organizing spaces
• Hear practical, easy-to-implement ideas for quick and functional changes in your kitchen
• Learn how to make a plan for refreshing your bedroom spaces for each family member
• Understand how to carve out a defined workspace for each family member, even if you do not have a home office or spare bedroom

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Meet the Expert Speaker:

Lisa Woodruff, founder & CEO of Organize 365®, believes that organization is a learnable skill.  She is the author of The Mindset of Organization: Take Back Your House One Phase at a Time and How ADHD Affects Home Organization. (#CommissionsEarned) Lisa has helped thousands of women reclaim their homes and finally get organized with her focus on functional organizing, encouragement, and humor her through her weekly podcasts, Organize 365.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

I first learned about doom piles from a client during one of our therapy sessions. She told me she was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and she described all the signs and symptoms that led to her diagnosis. That’s when she said two words that changed my life: doom pile.

The doom in ‘doom pile’ is actually an acronym. It stands for “Didn’t Organize, Only Moved” – an experience many people with ADHD can apparently relate to when they try to organize their spaces, whether physical or virtual. Instead of sorting things in their rightful places, they end up stacking them along with other random, unsorted things to be organized later – or never. That’s how people end up with doom piles, doom boxes, doom bags, doom folders and drives, doom rooms and closets, and other kinds of doom arrangements.

As my client described doom piles as a messy consequence of her ADHD (especially undiagnosed ADHD), I immediately thought of the mountains of paperwork on my desk. Though I loved my career as a therapist, some parts of my work made me feel anxious all the time. It seemed like my work life was ruled by unopened emails, unchecked voicemails, and piles of incomplete case notes.

Doom Piles, ADHD, and Me

Though I was hesitant to do so, I continued to explore doom piles from a personal lens. Piles, boxes, and bags full of “stuff” seemed to define all parts of my life even outside of work. Combined, my home, office, and car were one massive junk drawer of unused worksheets, clothes, receipts, books, and other miscellaneous items. Nothing had a home, and whenever I tried to tackle the piles, avoidance and procrastination reigned supreme.

Diving deeper, I realized that doom piles have always been a part of my existence. Whether it was a messy closet behind a closed door or a school locker full of crumpled-up papers, doom piles were always there. I also thought about how disorganized, restless, and anxious I felt most of the time, even as a child, and how I believed I was lazy and prone to chaos.

[Get This Free Download: 22 Clutter-Busting Strategies for Adults with ADHD]

Could it be that my own doom piles pointed to ADHD?

After that single session, I began to connect the dots and make more sense of my experiences from childhood to the present. Eventually, I pursued an evaluation, and I was diagnosed with ADHD.

The diagnosis afforded me a huge sense of relief. It explained so many of my frustrations and challenges beyond my doom piles — from my troubles in school to how I’d beaten myself up for being unable to complete menial tasks. Many of the negative beliefs I held about myself, including my overwhelming sense of being a failure, were directly tied to my life with undiagnosed ADHD. After years of thinking I was making up excuses for myself, I was finally given a reason to show myself self-compassion.

Making the Doom Piles Smaller

My journey toward structure and organization didn’t start with my diagnosis, but it definitely took an interesting turn in that moment. I knew that ADHD medication wouldn’t be a fix-all solution for my doom piles, but it was certainly a game changer. I felt like I could finally focus on one task at a time.

Then came taking a hard look at the organizing systems (or lack thereof) I had both at work and at home. Each week, I would schedule a few hours to read about ADHD, planning, and organizing. I looked into how others with ADHD tackle their own doom piles, but the most valuable thing I learned is that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What worked for someone else with ADHD may not work for me.

[Read: Attack of the Paper Stacks! How to Defeat Masses of Mess]

As I sorted through the doom pile in the trunk of my car, I grappled with the surprising difficulty of parting with items that had followed me for years. Still, I knew it was necessary. Organizing the smaller things gave me a sense of accomplishment that kept my motivation high.

Another big learning curve for me was learning how to prioritize while cleaning. I’d sometimes try to convince myself that another, non-doom task was equally important, only to realize this was just a form of avoidance creeping in.

My home, office, and car are still not immaculately organized. I don’t think I’ll ever be the type of person who can effortlessly keep tidy. But I have come a long way since that therapy session. Slowly but surely, I have cut down on my doom piles and have set up organizing systems that work for me. My doom piles no longer fill me with so much doom and gloom.

Doom Piling and ADHD: Next Steps

• Find: Professional Organizers Who Understand ADHD
• Free Download: 73 ADHD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life Now
• Q: “How Do I Get Rid of My Sentimental Clutter?”
• Read: Filing Cabinets Don’t Work for ADHD Minds — Help for Paper Pilers

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Life hacks are clever, everyday ways to increase productivity and efficiency. Life hacks that accommodate ADHD might look like creating a launch pad by the door, buying furniture with built-in storage, or using ear plugs and visual timers.

Below, ADDitude readers share the tricks that work for them. Comment on your favorites at the link above.

Life Hacks for ADHD Adults

“I use my Amazon Dot to play Pandora while I’m getting ready in the morning. I time myself by the number of songs that pass while I’m in the shower. Three songs? I should be getting out by now and can ask Alexa what time it is to double check. I also ask her what the weather will be like to keep from checking my phone, which would inevitably lead to distracted scrolling.” — Leslie, Pennsylvania (#CommissionsEarned)

“I make use of Tiles for all the things I frequently lose, like my keys, purse, and phone. I’m good until the batteries die.” — Leslie, Alabama (#CommissionsEarned)

[Download: Key ADHD Solutions from Childhood to Adulthood]

“The most helpful ADHD adaptation I’ve made to my physical environment was getting a standing desk converter for my home office so that I can stand while doing work. It’s been very helpful for my focus and productivity; I’ve been able to move around more, which helps me stay engaged.” — An ADDitude reader (#CommissionsEarned)

“I use an app to remind me to drink water, move, take a break, eat, etc. I use Alexa to verbally remind me to take my pills in the morning so I don’t forget. I also have a reminder on my phone and place my pill box very visibly at my bathroom sink.” — An ADDitude reader

“I place Post-It notes in different colors and sizes all over the house. If something really needs to be done, it will show up repeatedly. Repetition is how we get it into our ADHD brains — as well as vividly colored markers and pens strategically staged for when a thought arises, the colorfulness helps important tasks stick out.” — Evan, Indiana

“Let go of folding towels. An unfolded towel works just as well, and disposable hand towels in the bathroom are more sanitary for guests. I realized folding towels was just a convention anyway. One less repetitive task to stress over!”

“I’ve embraced that I have a lot of stuff. Instead of always feeling like I should declutter, I bought more bookshelves and storage over time and made it pretty. And I’m okay with my desk and work area being in constant states of use. I live here. I make things. I like to see my projects. If I tuck them away half finished, I’ll forget they exist.” — Amanda

[ADDitude Directory: Find an ADHD Coach]

“I always make sure to have everything I need for work the next day laid out and ready… Everything is set up for me in stations so that I don’t have to make decisions in the early morning, lose track of time, or forget anything. I also have multiple alarms set on my phone telling me when to move to the next station.” — An ADDitude reader

“Every room in my house has a different purpose. I try not to cross over. I work in my office, read and watch classes in my study, eat in my dining room, watch TV in my living room, and sleep in my bedroom. This means I can keep things in one location instead of moving them around. It helps me keep my brain focused on the tasks at hand when I’m in each room.” — Steph, Texas

“Visual timers are helpful, but even more important is a loud timer which finds me wherever I am in my apartment. My visual timers hardly get through to me when I’m distracted by something.” — Sabeen, Germany

“I keep things where I use them: coffee and tea in the cupboard above the kettle and coffee maker, for example, and a hairbrush in the living room where I can grab it from the couch. I have an upstairs broom and a downstairs broom. These little stations at hand remove obstacles and make it more likely to do things when I get the urge — instead of getting stalled.” — Amanda

“I have door mats outside and inside the door. It helps reduce dust and dirt so I don’t have to clean the floor as often. It’s easier to give the mats a shake as I spontaneously remember than it is to vacuum and mop.” — Shauna, Australia

“I take mandatory breaks every 30 minutes of any meeting, class, or seminar.” — Melanie, Ontario

“I find that if I have a place for everything, it is much easier to keep things organized. My focus is then on the discipline of putting things back in their place, not trying to decide where something should go. Keeping an area neat becomes automatic. I also create systems: for instance, my medications and vitamins. I finally put them all on a tray and established a system for pulling out the tray, filling the pill boxes, and putting the tray back. It really helps.” — Ann, Maryland

ADD Life Hacks: Next Steps

• Download: New Habits, Routines, and Systems for ADHD Organization and Productivity
• Readers Share: Organizing Tips for Home, Office, and Finances
• Read: My Daily System — 10 Secrets to Health, Happiness & Productivity with ADHD
• Buy: Getting Things Done with Adult ADHD

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Then I get enthused about another DIY job around the house, and I downplay my previous missteps, mistakes, and failed home improvement projects. “This time will be different,” I think optimistically. But do I believe it?

As much as people with ADHD hope something will be different, it rarely is unless we change our habits — and that entails remembering what we need to change and wanting to make the change happen. Poor working memory and hyperfocus are aspects of my ADHD that makes this difficult.

Case in point: Painting my bathroom.

Before: I used to finish a paint job with paint on the walls — and my clothes. I wouldn’t notice my error until the paint had dried and ruined whatever I was wearing. Are most people with ADHD as messy as I am?

After: No matter how small the paint job, I always change into my designated painting clothes before I begin.

[Get This Free Download: 10 Ways to Get Organized This Weekend]

Before: Immediately after sparking the idea, “Let’s redo the bathroom,” I would start painting. I thought putting down masking tape and covering the floor was unnecessary and time-consuming. I’d tell myself, “I will be neat this time.”

After: Countless mess-ups later, I realized I would never be neat enough not to need masking tape and a drop cloth. Now I do both. Doing this routine prep work has improved my paint jobs.

Before: I didn’t take the time to carefully remove hardware and screws from fixtures.

After: I remove all hardware and screws and properly store them, so they do not get lost. I learned that if I take care of the removed pieces, I won’t need to shop for missing parts later. Also, removing the fixtures ensures that I won’t get paint on them, causing more work later as I try to remove the unwanted color.

Yipee! As I’ve learned to do things differently, I’ve gotten smarter. I have become more proud of the progress I’ve made, and yet….

[Self-Test: Do I have ADHD? Symptoms in Adults]

I recently had to caulk the seam between the walls and baseboards — and I wore my everyday clothes. If I had the thought to “put on my painting clothes first,” I ignored it. After all, this was caulking, not painting. I would be fine.

Later, I discovered dried caulk on my slacks. Did you know that dried caulk is as impossible to remove from clothing as is dried paint? I do now!

In getting ready to paint the bathroom, I set the paint tray on the drop cloth covering the floor. I might have thought, “That isn’t a good place for the paint tray.” But due to my poor working memory I quickly forgot.

I also forgot about the paint tray, backed up, and put my left foot in it! I wiped the paint off my shoe’s bottom and thought I was good to go. Then I left the bathroom and went down two flights of stairs to finish cleaning my shoe in the basement sink.

Later, I noticed every other stairstep had paint on its edge. I could not understand what had caused this strange pattern, and I got to work removing the paint. It was only then that I realized I had not cleaned the backside of my shoe, where most of the paint remained, and had tracked paint on each step when I lifted my left foot.

The bathroom was almost finished. I just needed to reattach the fixtures. Okay, I admit I lost some of the screws and made a trip to the home improvement store to buy replacements.

But all and all, I finished the paint job with fewer mishaps than previous DIY projects and new learnings. My next DIY job will go even better.

DIY Projects for ADHD Adults: Next Steps

• Read: 6 Ways to Get Started on That Project
• Q&A: “Why Can’t I Tackle All These Home Improvement Projects?!”
• Free Download: Helpful Hacks to Focus Your ADHD Brain

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Keep in mind that decluttering your home is a journey, not a destination. It doesn’t have to happen all at once. Start small. For example, block off 45 minutes to clean a small closet on a Saturday. Do this repeatedly over a few months or longer to chip away at your stacks of stuff.

How to Declutter Your Home

Here are more tips for conquering chaos and creating a more organized living space.

Pick and purge. Go through one category of items, such as clothes, and weed out what no longer fits, is torn or stained, or you no longer want. Toss these directly into the trash bin or place them in a donation pile. Then go on to the next category, perhaps books or toys, or to a specific area, like the kitchen or garage. Invest in storage containers or bins to keep things organized as you pare down.

Grab a partner. Consider “body doubling” (over FaceTime or Zoom) with a friend who is also decluttering. This will help you stay focused and motivated.

[Click to Download: Get Organized in a Weekend] 

Drive and drop. Identify a charity drop box on your regular driving route or near your house. Fill your car with bags and drop them off. Repeat as needed.

Be thrifty. Make an appointment with a consignment shop to sell belongings in good condition. Or, if you live in a neighborhood or on a busy street, place your items outside by the curb with a sign that says, “free stuff.”

Box it up. Put cables, chargers, outlet plates, magnets, random screws, and other odds and ends in a box if you can’t bear to part with them.

How to Live with Less

Once Operation Declutter is complete, apply these ideas to help you live with less:

• Make a list of things you truly need and only buy items on that list. This will reduce impulse buying.
• Do not take hand-me-downs from family or friends unless the items were already on your list.
• Keep bulk shopping to a minimum.
• Cancel or reduce the frequency of subscriptions.

[Take This Test: Is Your Clutter Out of Control?]

Here’s what ADDitude readers say about decluttering:

“Getting past procrastination and tackling clutter is easier when I’m taking my ADHD medication.”

“Breaking down tasks into smaller tasks to tick off my to-do list creates a sense of achievement — and little dopamine hits to keep me going.”

“I bribe and reward myself when I get things on my list done.”

“My decluttering started five years ago, and it is ongoing.” 

How to Declutter Your Home: Next Steps

• Download: Free Guide for Controlling Clutter
• Read: 3 Games for Clearing Out Clutter
• Read: 10 Ways to Simplify Any Kitchen
• eBook: Declutter Your Life (and Home! and Office!)

Susan C. Pinsky is a professional organizer specializing in ADHD.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

For people with ADHD, a well-orchestrated meal plan can test already-weak executive function skills. On the other hand, an improper diet can lead to emotional dysregulation. So, when you need something quick, we present to you: easy meals.

We asked ADDitude readers: On those days when your energy is depleted well before dinnertime, what are your favorite “low-effort” meals? What appliance or tool do you feel is indispensable in an ADHD kitchen?

Ideas for Easy Meals

“I’m a 63-year-old semi-retired nanny fighting menopause weight gain and dealing with ADHD. I find that taking the time early in the week to make several days’ worth of salads is very helpful. My go-to easy dinner is grilled salmon. All I have to do is remember to take it out of the freezer in the morning. Salmon cooks very quickly and is very healthy.” — Carol, Pennsylvania

“When I’m busy or burnt out from the day, I like to make an omelet for dinner. Omelets are super easy and fast to make, especially when you only add cheese. But I like to add vegetables: onion, squash, jalapenos, or whatever I have [on hand]. Most sautéed veggies are great for throwing into your omelet. If you aren’t a pro at flipping omelets, just scramble the eggs.” — An ADDitude reader

[Free Guide to ADHD Brain Food: What to Eat, What to Avoid]

“I’m a very healthy eater as I find this assists me with my ADHD. I made quick paprika pork steaks tonight. All you need is two pork steaks, paprika, salt and pepper, and a potato. I cook the potato in the microwave for two minutes while I season the pork. While the pork is sizzling, add the potato after cutting it into eighths. Cook the pork and potato until crispy and serve with a tomato slice and balsamic side salad. So good!” — Carol, Australia

“A can of soup is the easiest meal for me. I add some freshly cut veggies and an ounce of precooked chicken and I am set.” — An ADDitude reader

“This is my favorite: frozen banana, oat milk, and vanilla protein powder in the blender. It tastes just like a milkshake! I usually throw in a hand of fresh or frozen spinach, too.” — Charlotte

“Any variation of Chili-Mac. We always keep boxes of macaroni and cheese, and there is always some kind of ground meat in the freezer. I just boil the noodles while I fry up and season the meat with whatever we’re feeling that day. By the time that’s done, so is the pasta. Throw it all together with the cheese that comes in the box — and usually a couple slices of whatever is on hand — and voila! Dinner is served in the time it takes to boil the pasta.” — Kelly, Indiana

[Read: Why Sugar Is Kryptonite for ADHD Brains]

“Rao’s lasagna and garlic bread! Although it takes 50 minutes to bake, my husband and I enjoy the time to reconnect. It tastes delicious and the leftovers are for lunch the next day.” — An ADDitude reader

“I make a baked sweet potato with butter, cheese, taco seasoning, chopped or sliced avocado, salsa, black beans on top, or your choice of toppings.” — An ADDitude reader

“I like to stock up on frozen meals from Trader Joe’s. Their variety is greater than most grocery stores. When I am cooking something like a casserole, I will make two and save one in the freezer for low-energy days. I also like to get a rotisserie chicken about once a week from the grocery store and use it for a quick meal with a bagged salad.”— Ivy, Florida

“I cook frozen nuggets in the convection oven. Then, I put them in low carb wraps with salad bag mix, ranch dressing, and cheese. It’s super easy with very little to clean up! I also think a pressure cooker is the easiest way to cook vegetables fast!” — Lindsey, Rhode Island

Tools for the Kitchen

“I live by my air fryer. The easiest, low-effort meals for my family are hamburgers, hot dogs, pre-cut chicken with pre-cut veggies, beans in a pot for quick burrito bowls, mini corn dogs. These are all things that can be done in the air fryer. I also keep frozen pancakes (microwave), sausage (air fryer), and scramble some eggs for a fast breakfast-for-dinner. For medium effort, we subscribe to a meal kit and there’s no shopping. Most meals take less than 30 minutes. HungryRoot is our favorite because you can customize your preferences.” — T. Taylor, Texas

“One of our staples is the Instant Pot (#CommissionsEarned). Throw in two to three frozen chicken breasts, a bag of frozen peppers, a packet of taco seasoning, and a can of diced tomatoes. Pressure cook on high for 12 minutes with a 10-minute slow release. Shred the chicken, serve over cooked rice, and add shredded cheese.” — An ADDitude reader

“Alexa is the most indispensable tool in my kitchen. Being able to set a timer just by saying it — and to ask if I set one when I can’t remember — has made cooking so much easier.” — An ADDitude reader

“My electric sandwich press is indispensable. I use it to cook most things you would use a frying pan for. It cooks both sides at once, so it halves the time I spend waiting in front of the stove. In turn, it significantly reduces the time I have to get distracted and walk away (leaving food to turn black!). Tool number two would have to be the smoke alarm!” — Jehanne, New Zealand

“I have had a Thermomix for 10 years. I use it multiple times a day. It’s changed my life… I can save my energy for other things while still eating healthier meals and having great food for my family with very little effort. A main benefit is to prevent me from burning things. In the past, I burnt pots often and regularly ruined whole meals. I have about five favorite recipes that are very flexible (e.g., bolognese sauce that can become nachos, tacos, shepherd’s pie, lasagna) so I don’t get bored. I put in the ingredients and the meal is ready in 30 minutes with little to no input from me.” — An ADDitude reader

“My favorite tool is my garlic press. I love fresh garlic and this gadget eliminates the chopping. I also love my refrigerated, freeze-dried herbs from Litehouse. I love growing a fresh herb garden, but often forget to go pick and chop the herbs until my dish is already done. Grabbing the freeze-dried jars from the fridge, last-minute, means I can get nearly the same fresh taste with zero effort!” — An ADDitude reader

“Mainly it isn’t the cooking that’s the problem, but the cleaning up after. Therefore, I find the dishwasher the most indispensable tool in the kitchen.” — Ivy, Florida

Easy Meals for ADHD Burnout: Next Steps

• Download: Meal Planning Guide for ADHD Families
• Read: Healthy Eating Habits for Impulsive, Dopamine-Starved ADHD Brains
• Read: 10 Ways to Simplify Any Kitchen

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

If the inherently ADHD-unfriendly task of meal planning falls on your shoulders, try using this ADHD-friendly system. These meal-planning tips will help you sail through the supermarket aisles and put dinner on the table in no time. In this download, you will learn the following:

• How to sort meals into time-saving sequences
• How to create a Top 10 Dinner list
• How to get every family member engaged in meal planning
• How to share responsibilities for dinner preparations
• How to give yourself a night off from cooking
• How to grocery shop efficiently and resist impulse buys
• And more!

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

31 Healthy Habits and Fresh Starts for 2023

Sure, January 1 is a good day for starting fresh. But so is today, and tomorrow, and next Thursday. So instead of focusing all your energy on conjuring a perfectly Happy New Year, how about taking it one day at a time with this Happy New Day calendar for ADHD adults working to forge healthy new habits all the time? Each of the daily activities on this free January calendar is practical, doable, and rewarding. And, together, these healthy new habits and routines add up to something pretty remarkable: change for good.

In this downloadable calendar for January 2023, we’ve selected 31 of our favorite expert and reader-submitted tips for building healthier habits around productivity, relationships, self-care, and time management. Bit by bit, day by day, they can add up to a personal transformation — with some wicked good incentives and body doubles thrown in for good measure.

Remember: “Habits are the building blocks of our lives. How we behave, think, and move through the world all come down to our habits.” — Christine Li, Ph.D.

New Year’s Resolutions don’t work for ADHD brains. But ADDitude knows what does: proven life hacks developed and tested by other creative, determined individuals with ADHD. Just sign up here, and we’ll guide you through these ADHD-proven strategies. Anyone enrolled in this free, virtual course will receive weekly email newsletters featuring hand-picked ADDitude articles and resources designed to address each of the following topics:

• Week 1 Class: Clutter — How to break down the daunting task of decluttering your house into do-able chunks that won’t overwhelm
• Week 2 Class: Getting Things Done — How to trick your ADHD brain into focusing, prioritizing, and defeating procrastination
• Week 3 Class: Relationships — How to center your focus on the people who matter most to you, and learn to communicate effectively with them
• Week 4 Class: Household Tasks — How to figure out systems for housework, grocery shopping, bill paying, and more onerous requirements of adulting
• Week 5 Class: Time Management — How to help when your child disrespects authority figures, refuses to comply with requests, and argues about everything

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

“ADHD affects the whole person — the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and social self. It increases daily stress and chips away at a positive sense of self. It interferes with self-care and makes it hard to keep healthy habits.” — Lidia Zylowska, M.D.

This self-guided ADDitude handbook is designed to help you prioritize your wellbeing, with help from leading experts in adult ADHD who offer their insights and advice in webinars, supplemental readings, expert Q&As, downloadable resources, and more.

From understanding your ADHD brain and motivations to developing healthy habits for physical and mental wellness, each section of this guide centers on improving an aspect of living that is undoubtedly touched by ADHD.

By working through this handbook, you will learn:

• How to gain a better sense of self to carve out the life you want
• How to create – and stick to – routines and habits
• How to apply time management and organization strategies to minimize overwhelm and maximize satisfaction
• How to manage stress and regulate intense emotions
• How to develop healthy habits around exercise, sleep, and nutrition
• How to eradicate ADHD shame by practicing self-compassion
• How to improve and strengthen your connections with others
• And much more!

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

Your best bet? Develop a plan of action before a family gathering for what to do when you feel triggered and need emotional support from a partner. And don’t forget to include your kids in the conversation. Understanding how and why certain relatives irritate your child will help you to anticipate tough spots and redirect quickly.

In this download, you will get tips on how to navigate family dynamics by setting boundaries, keep intense emotions in check, and best support your immediate family members during holiday gatherings with tips such as:

• Practice self-agency. Focus on what you can control, like leaving the room.
• Phone a friend. Pre-plan to message a friend with a code word that signals you need her help. When she calls or texts in response, excuse yourself to listen or respond to the message.
• Have an honest conversation with your partner in advance and ask, “What can we do to help each other feel safe and at ease during the holiday season?”
• Don’t take out your frustrationson your partner. Say: “I’m not mad at you. I’m frustrated with the situation.”
• Encourage your child to take a timeout when they feel overwhelmed.
• Plan firm but kind responses to use when relatives cross personal boundaries.
• Notice when your kids help with tasks and show initiative. Offer a high-five, a thumbs-up, a hug, or thanks to encourage more positive behaviors.
• And more!

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

We asked ADDitude readers how their symptoms show up during this time of year, and how they get through the holiday season with minimal burnout. Read their responses and tell us how you make the season work in the Comments section below.

Holiday Hyperfocus and Perfectionism

“I make handmade Christmas cards that never get sent out. I generally run myself ragged trying to make everything perfect. There’s never enough time and I end up being really disappointed in myself.” — Janet

“I get so excited about gifts and I end up spending way too much money (and I am terrible with money as it is). Also, I don’t often buy them in time, so January presents are a thing.” — Izzy, England

“I research everyone’s interests and try to make presents as perfect and personal as possible. I end up disappointed if I am unable to get the perfect gift for someone, especially if that gift doesn’t exist or is way outside of my budget. – Charlotte, United Kingdom

[Get This Free Download: Your Holiday Survival Kit]

Seasonal Overwhelm and Burnout

“Usually as overwhelm. I have all the ideas but none of the initiative.” — Liz, Missouri

“I am always overwhelmed, scattered, and too tired to really enjoy the season. There’s no mental energy left for any creativity, spontaneity, or generosity.” — Amy, Virginia

“ADHD shows up during the holidays as procrastination anxiety. Lots of running around, getting distracted in stores, and wrapping gifts late.” — Kaleigh, Massachusetts

“As a mom with ADHD, Christmas and Thanksgiving are often overwhelming due to the extensive to-do list. Planning six to eight weeks in advance seems like overkill, but it may be the only way for me to be able to enjoy the holiday season without feeling totally stressed out.” — Joy, North Carolina

[Read: How to Avoid Family Drama and ADHD Ignorance This Holiday Season]

Thriving During the Holidays

“I thrive during the hectic pace of the holidays. My mood is happier and I flourish.” — Helen, California

“I am the family decorator and get completely immersed in creating magical Christmas displays for my family members.” — Leslie, Michigan

Holiday Mishaps

“Years ago, I had a personalized ornament made for my sister, who lives in another state, as a gift. I forget to send it in the mail to her then — and every other year after that. Now the ornament hangs on my tree. The year the ornament was made is part of its design, so it makes me laugh every time we put it up.” — Amylynn, Massachusetts

“I showed up to our neighborhood progressive dinner dressed up and bearing a hostess gift — only to discover I was a full day early. Oof!” — Regina, Virginia

“Before I was diagnosed with ADHD, I purchased front row seats to a Wiggles concert for myself and the kids. The concert was a few days before Christmas, and I purchased the tickets back in May. Despite having the tickets displayed on the fridge for months, I mistook the concert date for being a day later than it was. I only realized my mistake on the night of the actual concert. My kids had already gone to bed by then thinking they were seeing the Wiggles the next day. That concert I had tickets for was their last performance in my town, so we had no other chance. I ended up telling the kids the next day that the Wiggles were sick and couldn’t perform. (Luckily my kids were only toddlers then.)” — Denise, Australia

Avoid Holiday Burnout: Simplicity & Setting Your Own Rules

“For Thanksgiving, my husband and I used to go shopping, overspend, overcook. Now we just book a restaurant and enjoy a delicious meal.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I make sure I have down time during the holidays and try not to say yes to everything. This may mean that we miss some events, but we focus on having fun in the events that we do attend.” — Glenda, Canada

“I used to try getting everyone dressed and coordinated for the ‘official’ family pic for our Christmas cards. What a nightmare! Now I just make a collage of informal images I’ve taken throughout the year.” — Michelle, Mississippi

“I always have cookies and casseroles in the freezer in case of a holiday emergency.” — Poppy, New Hampshire

“We try to forgo traditional Christmas season festivities and choose our own activities. It’s to grant ourselves a break from everyone and everything, including (and mostly) from expectation anxiety.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I gave up controlling the Christmas tree and have accepted the chaos of my child’s decorating as part of Christmas charm!” — Kate, Oregon

“Our family pares down holiday celebrations to our most-loved essentials. As introverts with ADHD, we decline most invitations, focus on small family celebrations, and repeat our favorite traditions year after year.” — Doña, California

“At 57, I think I have the season down. I’ve reduced the number of gifts I need to send and receive and mail my cards in November. We keep it simple.” — Rita, Canada

“During the holiday season, I have learned to lower expectations and keep it simple. Overall, don’t let other people set expectations for you. I have learned that most people are just as overwhelmed and will not blame you or even notice the things you miss!” — An ADDitude Reader

How to Get Through the Holidays with ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Managing Your Time During the Holidays
• Read: “My Extended Family Drives Me Crazy!” How to Guard & Protect Your Holiday Spirit
• Read: “My Christmas Meltdown: A Yearly Holiday Tradition”

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The Hollywood image of a happy family celebrating the holidays — laughing, eating, and sharing an oversized bowl of popcorn while watching a classic movie — rarely looks like real life. In the real world, extended family members may offer unsolicited advice, pass judgment, and dismiss your needs, which can trigger emotional dysregulation.

Your best bet? Develop a strategy before a family gathering to make difficult relatives more tolerable and maintain your holiday spirit. Consider the following:

Practice self-control. To avoid spiraling when you’re triggered, think about what you can control. For example, is there a place you can go to escape, like outside or into another room?

[Download: 13 Healthy Responses to Holiday Drama]

Phone a friend. Pre-plan to message a friend with a code word that signals you need her help. When she calls or texts in response, you can excuse yourself to listen or respond to the message.

Learn to self-soothe. Develop ways to calm yourself, even in the midst of holiday chaos. Here are some ideas:

• Create a playlist of your favorite songs on your phone.
• Add inspirational quotes to your phone that you can easily access and repeat to yourself.
• Do triangle breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for six.
• Silently recite phrases, such as, “May I be happy. May I be peaceful and at ease.”

Protect Your Holiday Spirit: Next Steps

• Download: How to Prioritize This Holiday Season
• Read: Happy Holidays, Really!
• Read: Beating the Holiday Blues

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Emotional support is a prerequisite to stressful social gatherings, especially ones where family conflict is expected. Securing it is a multi-step process that looks like this:

Emotional Support 101: How to Handle Family Conflict at the Holidays

Take time to have an honest conversation with your partner in advance. Ask each other: “What can I do to help you feel safe and at ease during the holiday season?”

Then, get practical with planning . . .

Decide on a hand signal or code word you can use when feeling stressed around extended family. This way, your ally can cover for you when you need to take a break.

[Read: ADHD Communication Problems Hurting Your Marriage]

When you’re in the thick of it . . .

Try not to take your frustrations out on your support person. Say: “I’m not mad at you. I’m frustrated with the situation.”

And remember . . .

Your support person does not need to be a spouse; it can be a sibling or favorite cousin. Identifying a reliable ally before family events can help to make the holiday season a happy one.

Emotional Support for Family Conflict: Next Steps

• Read: Surviving the Holidays with ADHD – Help for Adults
• Self Test: Emotional Hyperarousal & Sensitivity – Do I Have This ADHD Symptom?
• Watch: ADHD Emotional Regulation Strategies
• Read: How ADHD in Adults Affects Relationships – Marriage Insights
• Download: 13 Healthy Responses to Holiday Drama

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

What if I told you that you could offload all the unbearable tasks your ADHD brain loves to hate — from paying bills and scheduling appointments to ordering groceries — to someone else? Or what if you had someone to nudge you along and help you complete dreaded chores like washing the dishes, folding laundry, and even preparing healthy meals?

That’s what my virtual assistant does for me. I hired her to help me with 12 hours of work every month for $100 — and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for my ADHD. I couldn’t be more grateful to her.

Benefits of a Virtual Assistant for ADHD

I’ll be the first one to admit that hiring a virtual assistant is a privilege. Not everyone has that kind of money, and I’m fortunate to have a job that allows me to afford a service that was once out of my reach.

Still, I encourage everyone with ADHD to consider hiring one. (Here is the list I used to find a virtual assistant. I eventually hired my assistant via OkayRelax.)

[Get This Free Download: 19 Ways to Meet Deadlines and Get Things Done]

My virtual assistant helps me with practically all aspects of my life, especially with tasks I’ve long struggled with due to debilitating overwhelm and executive dysfunction.

Take the task of feeding myself: I’ve gone hungry on so many occasions because I’ve forgotten to pick up groceries on the way home, or I simply didn’t feel like doing anything that required lots of executive functioning, like shopping. Even if my fridge was stocked, I’d waste money on takeout because cooking was just too much for me.

But my virtual assistant, at my request, keeps me accountable. As I chop vegetables for dinner, she’s on the phone with me, acting as a body double to ensure I finish the task. She does the same as I tackle my other chores — folding clothes, decluttering my home, you name it.

My virtual assistant helps me reach my priorities and goals, but she also takes care of many items on my to-do list herself. (Often, the tasks that take just a few minutes to accomplish are the same ones that are somehow impossible for those of us with ADHD to actualize, even if we understand the consequences of inaction.) She schedules appointments, pays my bills, orders groceries for me to pick up, and even helps me search for online coupons and discounts.

[Read: How to Delegate Your To-Do List]

Nowadays, whenever a new to-do occurs to me, I simply call or text her on the spot so she can add it to her list. I no longer worry about suddenly remembering a to-do in the most inconvenient of times and places only to end up forgetting about it.

She’s also thoughtful and takes initiative to solve problems that I didn’t think were solvable. Recently, I told her that I sometimes prefer doing my work at coffee shops because the clutter and mess in my home can get so overwhelming. The next time she prepared my shopping cart for me, she added a few items to spruce up my home and even sent me a 3-step guide to make my home office aesthetically pleasing. She has saved me tons already – including on coffee!

It’s not fair that we struggle with ADHD. Executive dysfunction makes daily living needlessly difficult for so many of us. But if a virtual assistant is the answer to your problems and improves your quality of life, then is it really a luxury?

9 Tips for Hiring and Making the Most of a Virtual Assistant

1. It’s best to hire someone in your time zone, though you may be able to find virtual assistants in other time zones who can work with your schedule (and provide services at a lower cost).

2. Spend time brainstorming all the items a virtual assistant could help you with before you publish an ISO.

3. Write a short simple job description and post it on platforms like UpWork or Fiverr. Put a FAIR compensation rate. Being cheap about it will just add friction to something that is supposed to remove friction from your life!

4. Focus on what matters. You want a virtual assistant who is reactive, action oriented, flexible, and highly adaptable to take on your tasks. Don’t focus on the superficial.

5. Don’t spend too much time interviewing candidates. Put them on a one- to two-week paid trial instead. Have a few tasks ready ahead of time, like scheduling appointments or organizing cloud files. Be ready to try a few virtual assistants.

6. Don’t overthink logistics. Trust that your virtual assistant will problem-solve and roll with the punches. I use WhatsApp exclusively to communicate with my virtual assistant, and we video call from time to time.

7. There are lots of workarounds if privacy is a concern. If you’re asking yourself…

• “How do they ‘do’ your groceries?”
• “Do they have access to your credit card?”
• “Do I need to give them access to my Amazon account and emails?”

Know that you can still benefit from the help of a virtual assistant without granting them full access to your life. If you don’t want your assistant to add groceries to your virtual cart, you can ask them to send you a link to the items they found so you can add them yourself. You can also use prepaid cards if your assistant is online shopping for you. Privacy.com is a great solution, as you can assign a specific amount and vendor to a card so that it can’t be charged outside those parameters.

8. Be creative. I can hardly think of a task that can’t be delegated to an assistant. Body doubling, meal planning, car maintenance appointments, canceling a subscription, making sure you call your mom at least once a week… a virtual assistant can help make sure all of it happens!

9. Treat your virtual assistant as you would a friend. If you just want someone to obey your orders, you’re better off with AI-based apps. But since you want a human on the other side, accept their flaws and treat them as you would treat your best buddy. Your virtual assistant is a life assistant – be open-minded and vulnerable so they can understand how your ADHD brain works and how to best help you.

Virtual Assistant for ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: 18 ADHD-Friendly Ways to Get Things Done
• Read: ADHD Coping Strategies You Haven’t Tried Yet
• Read: Could You Benefit from an ADHD Coach?

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.