Recently diagnosed with ADHD (at 38 years old), I have been looking back over my life and taking stock. Today, I see everything through a different lens. I understand now that beyond the pain of others saying that they couldn’t stand me – a pain ignited by rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) — I couldn’t stand myself most of the time (and still can’t). Being in my head is like being in a broken computer game from the ’80s: streams of neon lights ricocheting off the walls of my neurodivergent brain, patterns of half-finished coding, and working in overdrive just for a glimmer of nonsensical light to break.

To Those Who Will Never Cancel Me

When I told a close friend about my diagnosis, we both chuckled. It was not a surprise to either of us. She said she was drawn to people with ADHD and that they “drove her crazy,” but she still loves them so. She, like the few others who have stuck with me through the years, display unusual amounts of grace and compassion. They see deeper than the outrageous things I sometimes say or do. They know how my social anxiety shows up during the functions they invite me to, and that I forget so many things they tell me.

My husband is one of those people with limitless grace. He has withstood my RSD and the emotional dysregulation that floods my brain. He has also withstood my OCD, anxiety, depression, and hypervigilance. When others have thrown me away, he’s scooped me up off the floor and wiped my tears or given me space to rage through the pain. He truly sees me.

But I see him, too. He also has ADHD, though we have different symptoms. Sometimes we laugh about how we found each other in this life and how we are forever grateful that we did. Even though our ADHD symptoms often collide and our communication can get tangled up like old telephone wires damaged by storms, we are united in love and dedication. We help each other navigate this strange neurological land. And after becoming parents, we want to do everything in our power to show our children that there is nothing wrong with the way we were made.

[Read: “I Can’t Handle Rejection. Will I Ever Change?”]

Surviving Rejection, Cancelation, and ADHD Stigma

After my diagnosis, I came to understand that some people will always be committed to misunderstanding me. They view their assumptions about me as absolute truth. I have chosen to cut off contact when this is the case. Despite the sting of rejection, I try not to go around defending myself too much or justifying to others why I am the way I am. I’m learning, slowly, to stop apologizing.

I’m learning how to be kinder to myself. I try not to beat myself up when I fail in the workplace, when I start another project that will go unfinished, when I unintentionally offend someone, when I forget important things, and when I make so many other mistakes. I remind myself that there is a real and neurological reason behind this. I give myself the grace and understanding others cannot.

When I am overwhelmed by how the simple aspects of life are so much harder for people like me, I remind myself how far I’ve come. I remind myself that having a husband who loves me for me and a few close friends who I can truly be myself with is more than enough.

When I wonder again why I had to be born this way, I pause, take a breath, and remind myself that it’s not my fault or anyone else’s — because there isn’t anything wrong with me. Some people will simply choose not to see that there is so much gold to be found in people like me.

[Read: Coping With the Stigma of ADHD]

When I’m told I’m either too much or not enough, I remember that I am not perfect, but good enough. That I am brave. That I am tender. That I am creative. That I am not a problem to be solved. That I’ve been canceled before, and I’ll probably be canceled again. But I can take it.

Cancel Culture, RSD, and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
• Q&A: My Fear of Rejection Keeps Me Socially Isolated
• Read: How to Break the Habit of Internalized Criticism

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
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April 17, 2023

High-intensity physical activity greatly improves mental health symptoms in adults across clinical conditions, according to a meta-analysis recently published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine. Vigorous and short-duration exercises were found to be most effective in improving mild-to-moderate symptoms of depression and anxiety, compared to usual care.¹

Higher-intensity workouts were found to be most effective at improving symptoms of depression and anxiety — the comorbid conditions that most commonly occur alongside ADHD. Short-term interventions lasting 12 weeks or less were more effective at improving symptoms than were longer-term exercise programs. Outcomes were measured through self-reports or clinical assessments.

Healthy adults, adults with mental health disorders, and adults with chronic diseases were included across 97 systematic reviews. The study found mental-health benefits associated with all modes of physical activity, including strength-based exercises; mixed mode exercises; stretching, yoga, and mind-body modalities; and aerobic exercise.

Exercise, Depression & Anxiety

While positive effects spanned all groups, the clinical effects of different modes of physical activity varied. Researchers found that resistance or strength training had the largest beneficial impact on depressive symptoms.

“Physical activity improves depression through various neuromolecular mechanisms including increased expression of neurotrophic factors, increased availability of serotonin and norepinephrine, regulation of hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis activity and reduced systemic inflammation,” the researchers wrote.

For symptoms of anxiety, mind-body modalities like yoga had the greatest impact.

“Physical activity (PA) on depression and anxiety are due to a combination of various psychological, neurophysiological, and social mechanisms,” the researchers said. “Different modes of PA stimulate different physiological and psychosocial effects, and this was supported by our findings.”

High-intensity exercise has also been associated with improvements in sleep — thought to be closely connected to mental health.² For middle-aged or older adults, the long-term effects of too much sleep (more than 8 hours) or too little (less than 6 hours) can lead to death by various causes, including cardiovascular disease. Exercise can help to negate those mortality risks. In a recent U.K.-based population cohort, adults who exercised often greatly lowered their sleep-duration-related mortality risk. That risk was nearly non-existent when adults went beyond the WHO’s recommendation of 150 minutes of moderate to intense physical activity per week.³

In the current study, the adults who benefited most from physical activity included generally healthy adults; pregnant or postpartum women; adults with depression; and adults with HIV or kidney disease. Participants included adults aged 18 and older.

Exercise and ADHD

Exercise was rated very highly by people with ADHD in ADDitude’s treatment survey conducted in 2017. More than half of the 1,563 adult respondents rated exercise as “extremely” or “very” effective in managing their ADHD symptoms — which may coexist with and become exacerbated by symptoms of mood disorders like depression.

Exercise was one of the top-rated treatment options among adults in the survey, but only 17% said that exercise came at the recommendation of their doctor. Though it received lower patient ratings, medication was more often used to treat symptoms; patients said they believed medication would have more “immediate” and “consistent” effects. Though exercise promises to lessen some of the commonly reported side effects of ADHD medication — like sleep disturbances and irritability — only 37% of ADDitude survey respondents said physical activity was included in their treatment plan.

The current meta-analysis found that “effect size reductions in symptoms of depression (−0.43) and anxiety (−0.42) are comparable to or slightly greater than the effects observed for psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy.”

Limitations & Future Research

The growing body of research on exercise and mental health is promising, but not without its flaws.

Though researchers from the present analysis “applied stringent criteria regarding the design of the component randomized controlled trials to ensure that effects could be confidently attributed to PA,” AMSTAR 2 ratings were a limitation. Of the 97 systematic reviews, 77 received a clinically low score. Those studies were identified as having more than one critical flaw, and three or more non-critical weaknesses.

A meta-analysis published in Nature found many short trial durations, small sample sizes, variable outcome measures, and other potential biases or inconsistencies in studying exercise and cognition.^{4 5} That’s not to say exercise is without cognitive (or social, or physical) benefits, but the research on mental health and exercise requires more validation.

“Organizations committed to public health, such as the World Health Organization or the National Institutes of Health, currently recommend regular exercise as a means to maintain a healthy cognitive state, which based on our findings cannot be affirmed,” they wrote.

The current study acknowledges this, stating: “Patient resistance, the difficulty of prescribing and monitoring PA in clinical settings, as well as the huge volume of largely incommensurable studies, have probably impeded a wider take-up in practice.”

Future research should reflect these limitations and consider ways to integrate conclusive findings into the clinician-patient setting.

Sources

¹Singh, B., Olds, T., Curtis, R., et al. (2023). Effectiveness of physical activity interventions for improving depression, anxiety and distress: an overview of systematic reviews. British Journal of Sports Medicine. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2022-106195

²Suni, E., and Dimitriu, A. (2023, March 17). Mental Health and Sleep. The Sleep Foundation. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/mental-health

³Liang, Y. Y., Feng, H., Chen, Y., Jin, X., Xue, H., Zhou, M., Ma, H., Ai, S., Wing, Y., Geng, Q., Zhang, J. (2023). Joint association of physical activity and sleep duration with risk of all-cause and cause-specific mortality: a population-based cohort study using accelerometry. European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, zwad060. https://doi.org/10.1093/eurjpc/zwad060

⁴Pollina, R. (2023, March 28). New research suggests physical exercise has ‘little’ mental benefits. New York Post. https://nypost.com/2023/03/28/new-research-suggests-physical-exercise-has-little-mental-benefits/

⁵Ciria, L.F., Román-Caballero, R., Vadillo, M.A. et al. An umbrella review of randomized control trials on the effects of physical exercise on cognition. Nat Hum Behav (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-023-01554-4

Molly Seidel is one of only three American women to medal in the Olympics in one of the most brutal of events, the marathon. Even with all her triumphs in competition, perhaps what is even more remarkable about Molly is her candor and courage in discussing and addressing a series of mental health challenges.

Molly Seidel was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) while studying and competing as a Division I athlete at the University of Notre Dame. She continued to compete through college, winning several NCAA championships, before seeking treatment for eating disorders. It wasn’t until years later — after medaling at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021 and finishing fourth with a personal best in the 2021 NYC Marathon — that Molly discovered the root source of her ongoing mental health challenges: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

“When I speak publicly about being diagnosed with ADHD and get absolutely flamed online for it, it’s frustrating and a little bit heart breaking sometimes because I know there are other people out there who are dealing with this,” Molly said in a recent conversation with WebMD. “One of the reasons that I didn’t get help earlier, when I was in high school or in college, is because I didn’t have the role models speaking out about this. Everybody who was at the pro level running then seemed like these perfect people, and I was like, Why doesn’t my brain work?”

“I do think we’re getting to a point where there is a lot more acceptance,” said Molly, who suffered a race-ending hip injury during the 2022 Boston Marathon. “I think the Tokyo Olympics was this watershed moment for mental health, but there is still so much stigma and so much hatred out there that we need to be aware of… Athletes are real people with real mental health issues.”

Read the full transcript of this video interview with Molly Seidel on Medscape.

At the same time, many ADDitude readers tell us they wouldn’t trade away their ADHD traits if they could. They insist that their ADHD brains are unique, creative, unbridled, and often inspired. And they aren’t wrong.

Of course, every strength has its weakness. Curiosity is challenged by distractibility. Spontaneity is challenged by impulsivity. Balancing strengths and symptoms can feel like a superhuman task, so maybe the superpower metaphor is not so far off?

We asked ADDitude readers: What is your stance? Are you living with superpowers, super deficits, or somewhere in the middle? Share your thoughts in the comments section above.

ADHD, the Superpower

“The ability to hyperfocus is a superpower that my ADHD grants. However, the cost is high, and it’s not an on-demand gift. I perceive my ADHD as if I were a ‘junior X-Man’ with differences I poorly understand and cannot (yet) control. Perhaps I need Professor Xavier!” — Teresa, Ohio

“I love stories about superheroes that highlight the limitations and burdens they have to live with as a result of their superpower. Think of Clark Kent: Every time he shakes someone’s hand or interacts with an object, he has to manage his strength or else break whatever he touches. I think of ADHD the same way. My ability to hyperfocus and my difficulty focusing on undesirable tasks are two sides of the same coin. The same is true for my sensitivity, insight, and empathy, my intense emotions, my creativity, and the overwhelm that comes from having an impossible to-do list. They all need to be managed so that they don’t hurt me or anyone else.”

[Directory: Find an ADHD Specialist]

“As a high school ELA and journalism teacher, my ADHD allows me to be organic in my teaching, flexible in my planning, empathetic with my student’s needs, and creative in my instructional strategies. I pivot on a dime when my students need something different and can make adjustments on the fly when I see that kids need more or less… Since both my daughter and I experienced her high school years knowing about her ADHD and I realized much later in life how I experience my own ADHD, I have these tools in my teaching toolbox for any student who needs research-based, solid supports for learning.” — Debbie

ADHD, the Super Deficit

“While it’s probably true that ADHD people are more likely to wear capes than neurotypicals, and I appreciate the strengths-based spirit of calling ADHD a superpower, I feel like ‘superpower’ is an oversimplified version of the gifts and challenges of an ADHD brain. Instead, thinking of ADHD as our nuclear power has always made more sense to me. When nuclear fuel rods are entirely smothered, no one benefits from the potential. And left unchecked? Meltdown. The trick is figuring out how to effectively harness our nuclear power so that it strikes the ideal balance between benefit and the other extremes.” — Tom, New Hampshire

“I cringe when I hear it referred to as a superpower. We’re just different; no better or worse than anyone else.” — An ADDitude reader

“While I accept my brain as a whole (and it has many wonderful things going for it), most of my ADHD traits have caused me nothing but trouble since childhood. It has negatively affected school, work, and relationships. It has been a constant struggle to succeed in spite of ADHD and due to a very late diagnosis.” — An ADDitude reader

[Download: The Ages & Stages of ADHD — Key Solutions]

“I think the people that refer to ADHD as their ‘superpower’ are probably overlooking the fact that they have a significant amount of social, cultural, and financial capital that affords them this stance.” An ADDitude reader

“It’s a curse. A poison. My brain is not mine; it functions independent of me, and I am unwillingly along for the ride. I am happy for those who believe it is a superpower, but in my case, it is an obstacle to overcome.” — Travis

“Maybe it’s accurate to say ADHD causes superpowered anxiety, superpowered stress, and superpowered emotional dysregulation. But none of those are actually super good.” — An ADDitude reader

Somewhere in the Middle

“It’s both but emphasizing the positive is a choice. Some of what I consider to be my best qualities as a therapist and a parent can be directly linked to my ADHD brain: detailed and fastidious work output, enthusiasm and interest in special projects, finding lots of things interesting, and having compassion and understanding of others whose brains are wired a little differently. But it’s just as important to know what kind of struggles I am working with so I can make adaptations. In the end, I believe 100% that ADHD makes me a better therapist and a parent.” — Sara

“I’m smart and creative, but I undermine myself to severe detriment because of my ADHD. I don’t want to fall into the trap of hating ADHD because it is part of me. At the same time, I am not going to ignore that ADHD is a large stumbling block for simply existing in today’s world.” — Jashin

“I vacillate between the idea that my ADHD is a superpower and a super burden. My smarts, my creativity, and my ability to navigate clutch situations and create amazing things on a deadline can feel like magic. At the same time, the struggles are real and many. My RSD, anxiety, and executive function deficits make every single task a challenge every single day. I often find myself wishing I could — for at least a short time — have a normal brain. I imagine I could accomplish so much and have so much success. At the same time, if I had a normal brain, would any of the magic be there?” — Beth, Colorado

“My hyperfocus is usually a superpower, but my odd relationship to time causes the most problems in my life. Deadlines, bills, scheduling, and the resulting stress and frustration is a considerable drain of energy and self-esteem. Balancing between hyperfocus and time challenges, as well as other life priorities, is a difficult challenge.” — Julia, Connecticut

“ADHD is definitely a superpower, but as with all talents, it can be overwhelming. It allows me to think fast, be creative, and have unlimited amounts of energy. If I do not manage that correctly, I will have unlimited tiredness and frustration. It took me almost 50 years to find the balance… And as all life is about balance, I am just as often down in the dumps due to mismanagement.” — Yolanda, Netherlands

“The more I learn about my ADHD, the more empowered I feel. When I am capable of harnessing that power is when I feel super. Right now, when I am struggling, it’s my greatest antagonist.” — Jen, Washington

“Trying to wash three days’ worth of dishes or clean a bathroom, and still not getting it done after two days, is not a superhero moment. However, a stressful deadline, an emergency, or something triggering my hyperfocus brings out the superpower, like Diana turning into Wonder Woman… I don’t often, if ever, find a middle ground where the dishes get done by the end of each day and all projects are started and finished on schedule.” — Tiffany, France

ADHD Strengths vs. Toxic Positivity: Next Steps

• Download: All the Best Parts of ADHD
• Read: It’s Not as Bad as You Think
• Read: Putting My Strengths to Work

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

As an ADHD coach with ADHD myself, I help people see how it is a whole-life, whole-body condition. I help them connect the dots between ADHD and other areas of life, with the goal of encouraging personal awareness and understanding.

Here, I present facts, observations, and questions to get you thinking about how ADHD is at the center of your life. As you gain insight into your person and condition, please remember that you have your own brand of ADHD — and you deserve to be treated with kindness above all.

How Does ADHD Affect Overall Health?

ADHD & Sleep

Why So Many Night Owls Have ADHD

Delayed sleep phase syndrome, defined by irregular sleep-wake patterns and thought of as a circadian rhythm disorder, is common in ADHD.¹ The ADHD brain takes longer — about an hour longer on average (remember, that’s just an average) — to fall asleep than does the non-ADHD brain.² That’s why it’s not uncommon for us to stay up late at night, and regret it in the morning.

Poor-Quality Sleep Worsens ADHD Symptoms

Suffering a sleep deficit with ADHD is like waking up to ADHD times two — or five. Lack of sleep slows a person’s response time, processing speed, and decision-making. We’re not as alert or as focused when we’re tired. We become crabby and inflexible. We imitate three of the Seven Dwarfs: Dopey, Sleepy, and Grumpy. Lack of sleep is a self-fulfilling prophecy; it only continues to throw our circadian rhythm off kilter and cause more dysregulated sleep.

[Get This Free Download: Lifestyle Changes for Adults with ADHD]

Is Your ADHD Medication Causing Sleep Problems?

Sleep problems are a common side effect of stimulant use. Then again, many people with ADHD find that stimulants help them to go to sleep. This is worth personal exploration.

ADHD & Nutrition and Eating Habits

Why ADHD Brains Chase Dopamine

The dopamine-deficient ADHD brain seeks this chemical in many places, from tobacco to junk food. Caffeine also boosts dopamine levels in the brain.³ And it’s always tempting to reach for simple carbs, since they rapidly break down into sugar and stimulate dopamine release.

ADHD Symptoms Influence Eating Behaviors

Symptoms like impulsivity and inattention easily invite dysregulated eating, which may lead to unintended weight gain.⁴ In fact, studies link ADHD to excess weight and obesity⁵ — which is linked to other conditions ranging from fatty liver, high blood pressure, and metabolic syndrome. Relatedly, research also links ADHD to Type 2 diabetes.⁶

Are Other Health Conditions Linked to ADHD?

From autoimmune diseases and skin conditions to hypermobility and pulmonary disease, a string of other health conditions have been linked to ADHD.^{7 8 9} Take a moment to think about how ADHD impacts your diet, health, and overall wellness.

[Free Guide: Health & Fitness Lifestyle Changes for Adults with ADHD]

How Does ADHD Affect Education and Careers?

Adverse School Experiences with ADHD Are Common

Our experiences in school often foreshadow our careers and other aspects of our lives. Did ADHD prevent you from graduating high school or from enrolling in or finishing college, as it did for so many of us?^{10 8} Or did ADHD help you excel in school? Did you have to navigate school with a learning difference like dyslexia or dysgraphia, as 45% of children with ADHD do?¹²

What Kind of Job Is Ideal for You?

Do you prefer to work in an office, or outside? Do you thrive in fast-paced, unpredictable environments? Or do you succeed with more structure and stability? Do you need complete silence to focus? Or do you work best with lots of stimuli? Are you self-employed? No matter your responses, know that ADHD guides your decisions across all these factors.

How Does ADHD Affect Relationships?

ADHD & Romantic Relationships

The Wonderful, Attractive Qualities of ADHD Partners

We’re spontaneous and lots of fun. We have a great sense of humor. (Because let’s face it: If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.) We’re also really affectionate — and tend to pour it on when we’re in new relationships.

How Non-ADHD Partners Can Misunderstand Us

Our loved ones don’t always understand why we’re sometimes forgetful or disorganized. They don’t always know that we’re trying our absolute hardest. They don’t always know how to avoid taking our ADHD personally.

We Need Acceptance, Not Tolerance

Acceptance and compassion are key to a happy ADHD relationship and a true partnership.

ADHD and Family

Did ADHD Affect Your Decision to Have Children?

Some parents with ADHD have impulsivity to thank for their families. Other adults with ADHD choose not to have children, perhaps because of the very real challenges of managing symptoms while parenting a child who may also have ADHD. Are either of these true for you?

Are You a Parent with ADHD Raising Kids with ADHD?

If so, you’re in a unique place. Yes, it can be overwhelming, frustrating, and just plain hard a lot of the time. But it’s also worth it — especially when your own family can provide empathetic and constructive support because they understand your ADHD challenges.

Navigating the Opinions of Extended Family Members

They may doubt that you have ADHD, or they may mistakenly believe that only children can have ADHD. They may not think ADHD is real at all. They may only remember the version of you before you were diagnosed and informed. Either way, many of us are unfortunately forced to skirt the topic of ADHD with certain family members, or avoid some family altogether. But sympathetic family members do exist. They often have ADHD themselves, or they have children who are diagnosed with ADHD.

ADHD & Friendships

ADHD Sometimes Sabotages Relationships

Sometimes, we don’t know how to navigate social settings. Things like striking conversation or joining an ongoing conversation are tricky. In the company of friends, we sometimes blurt out whatever comes to mind, even if it’s brutally honest and not totally appropriate. Though we don’t mean to create divisions, these moments often cost us our friendships.

We Desperately Need Friends Who Get It

We need friends who understand us and will be there for us, either to cheer us on or offer their shoulder to cry on — without judgment or guilt.

[Read: How a Better Relationship with Food Can Benefit Your ADHD Brain]

Special Focus: ADHD in Girls and Women

ADHD is Often Unrecognized in Girls and Women

Women and girls with ADHD tend to be people-pleasers. We try really hard to mask our symptoms and perceived flaws. We blame ourselves entirely for our mistakes — often leading to a lifetime of shame, self-hate, and self-recrimination. That’s why early diagnosis and treatment are so important. Yet they are still so difficult to obtain.

Why? Because we don’t tend to fit the ADHD stereotype of a hyperactive little boy. The symptoms of inattentive ADHD, more common in women, are not as obvious and are harder to observe. Others tend to brush us off as dreamy and ditzy. If anything, we’re often misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety.

ADHD & Estrogen

Estrogen has an amazing and astonishing effect on the body.

• The menstrual cycle: Estrogen levels rise and fall during the monthly cycle. We focus best when estrogen levels are at their highest. When estrogen levels bottom out, all hell breaks loose. We’re unable to focus and our ADHD symptoms become more severe. Also, it’s important to note that premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and its more serious form, premenstrual dysmorphic disorder (PMDD), are more common and more severe in women with ADHD.¹⁴ Check with your doctor to see if you would benefit from an additional dose of stimulant medication or an antidepressant during the lowest point of your cycle.
• Pregnancy and postpartum: Estrogen shoots up during pregnancy, peaks in the third trimester, and drops considerably postpartum — changes that are bound to have considerable effects on the ADHD body and mind at the time women face the greatest risk for postpartum depression.
• Perimenopause and menopause: Brain fog, memory lapses, irritability, and other symptoms increase as estrogen levels decrease. It stands to reason that these changes worsen ADHD symptoms, too. These changes may also explain why so many women are finally diagnosed with ADHD in midlife. If you’re at this stage, talk to your doctor to see if estrogen supplementation is appropriate for you.

Wait, That’s ADHD, Too? Other Features and Strengths

• We are time blind: We often miscalculate how much time has elapsed, or how much time it takes to complete a task. This can have career implications, among others.
• We have sensory sensitivities: Can’t stand the feeling of certain textures and fabrics on your skin? Do bright lights and loud noises bother you? Sensory sensitivities are common in ADHD, causing us to react strongly to sights, smells, tastes, and more. This can impact nutrition and even anxiety.
• We experience rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD): Are you sensitive to criticism, real or perceived? That’s RSD — a core part of the ADHD experience. Our sensitivity can cause us pain, but it also means that we’re intuitive and empathetic. It means we know how to take care of other people — because we know how we would like to be taken care of. RSD has an undeniably sizable impact on relationships touched by ADHD.
• We carry shame: Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world often means receiving negative feedback. It’s why so many of us feel like bad people. But ADHD is nothing to be ashamed about. Remember that you’re not alone.
• We love our pets: Whether it’s a turtle or a St. Bernard, many of us with ADHD have beloved pets. Could it be because they calm us? Because they’re not judgmental? Dog lovers often report that their daily walk schedule is an added benefit.
• We are good in a crisis: Whether it’s a true emergency or a manufactured one, we tend to perform well under serious pressure. (Is it any wonder that so many firefighters have ADHD?¹⁵)
• We are creative: We have a lot of great ideas, and we’re out-of-the-box thinkers. We like to hyperfocus for hours (a dopamine surge in itself) until we figure it out.
• We are absolutely resilient: We fall off a horse or two, but we get back on every single time.

Respect Your ADHD: Stop Trying to ‘Fix’ Yourself

Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have been diagnosed for years, chances are you keep throwing heaps of spaghetti at the wall to see what will stick and “fix” you, once and for all. My bet is that you’ve tried all the planners, time-management tips, and other productivity strategies and tricks available on the market.

But what if you tried giving yourself credit and praise instead of constantly focusing on the “wrongs” in your life?

• You already have strategies that work. You’ve been coping with ADHD your entire life. You’re the expert on you. You have wisdom in yourself, and you can trust that wisdom.
• 98% (or more) of your life is working. Focusing on the 2% makes your problems seem bigger than they are.

Today, I invite you to give your ADHD a little respect. Don’t fight it or treat it as the enemy. Think of it as your alter ego. No, you’re not defined by your ADHD, but you certainly live with it. So allow yourself to accept that every now and then and just be. (The truth is you probably really like that little part of you that’s kind of different. I mean, who wants to be boring?)

The content for this article was derived, in part, from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “ADHD Is a Whole-Life, Whole-Body Experience” [Video Replay & Podcast #427] with Linda Roggli, PCC, which was broadcast on October 26, 2022.

How ADHD Affects All Areas of Life: Next Steps

• Free Download: The ADHD Healthy Habits Handbook
• Read: My 25 Rules for Life — A Practical Cure for ADHD Shame and Stagnation
• Read: Beyond Genes – Leveraging Sleep, Exercise, and Nutrition to Improve ADHD
  

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help

Sources

¹van Andel, E., Bijlenga, D., Vogel, S. W. N., Beekman, A. T. F., & Kooij, J. J. S. (2021). Effects of chronotherapy on circadian rhythm and ADHD symptoms in adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and delayed sleep phase syndrome: a randomized clinical trial. Chronobiology international, 38(2), 260–269. https://doi.org/10.1080/07420528.2020.1835943

² Bijlenga, D., Van Someren, E. J., Gruber, R., Bron, T. I., Kruithof, I. F., Spanbroek, E. C., & Kooij, J. J. (2013). Body temperature, activity and melatonin profiles in adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and delayed sleep: a case-control study. Journal of sleep research, 22(6), 607–616. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsr.12075

³ Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Logan, J., Alexoff, D., Fowler, J. S., Thanos, P. K., Wong, C., Casado, V., Ferre, S., & Tomasi, D. (2015). Caffeine increases striatal dopamine D2/D3 receptor availability in the human brain. Translational psychiatry, 5(4), e549. https://doi.org/10.1038/tp.2015.46

⁴ Reinblatt S. P. (2015). Are Eating Disorders Related to Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder?. Current treatment options in psychiatry, 2(4), 402–412. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40501-015-0060-7

⁵ Cortese, S., Moreira-Maia, C. R., St Fleur, D., Morcillo-Peñalver, C., Rohde, L. A., & Faraone, S. V. (2016). Association Between ADHD and Obesity: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. The American journal of psychiatry, 173(1), 34–43. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.15020266

⁶ Chen, Q., Hartman, C. A., Haavik, J., Harro, J., Klungsøyr, K., Hegvik, T. A., Wanders, R., Ottosen, C., Dalsgaard, S., Faraone, S. V., & Larsson, H. (2018). Common psychiatric and metabolic comorbidity of adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A population-based cross-sectional study. PloS one, 13(9), e0204516. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0204516

⁷ Csecs, J. L. L., Iodice, V., Rae, C. L., Brooke, A., Simmons, R., Quadt, L., Savage, G. K., Dowell, N. G., Prowse, F., Themelis, K., Mathias, C. J., Critchley, H. D., & Eccles, J. A. (2022). Joint Hypermobility Links Neurodivergence to Dysautonomia and Pain. Frontiers in psychiatry, 12, 786916. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.786916

⁸ Nielsen, P. R., Benros, M. E., & Dalsgaard, S. (2017). Associations Between Autoimmune Diseases and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Nationwide Study. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 56(3), 234–240.e1. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2016.12.010

⁹ Rietz, E., Brikell, I., Agnieszka, B., Leone, M. Chang, Z., Cortese, S. et.al. (July 6, 2021). Mapping phenotypic and aetiological associations between ADHD and physical conditions in adulthood in Sweden: a genetically informed register study. The Lancet Psychiatry.DOI:https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(21)00171-1

¹⁰ Kuriyan, A. B., Pelham, W. E., Jr, Molina, B. S., Waschbusch, D. A., Gnagy, E. M., Sibley, M. H., Babinski, D. E., Walther, C., Cheong, J., Yu, J., & Kent, K. M. (2013). Young adult educational and vocational outcomes of children diagnosed with ADHD. Journal of abnormal child psychology, 41(1), 27–41. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-012-9658-z

¹¹ Biederman, J., & Faraone, S. V. (2006). The effects of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder on employment and household income. MedGenMed : Medscape general medicine, 8(3), 12.

¹² DuPaul, G. J., Gormley, M. J., & Laracy, S. D. (2013). Comorbidity of LD and ADHD: implications of DSM-5 for assessment and treatment. Journal of learning disabilities, 46(1), 43–51. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022219412464351

¹³ Quinn, P. O., & Madhoo, M. (2014). A review of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in women and girls: uncovering this hidden diagnosis. The primary care companion for CNS disorders, 16(3), PCC.13r01596. https://doi.org/10.4088/PCC.13r01596

¹⁴ Dorani F, Bijlenga D, Beekman ATF, van Someren EJW, Kooij JJS. Prevalence of hormone-related mood disorder symptoms in women with ADHD. (2020) J Psychiatr Res. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2020.12.005

¹⁵ Palmer, Charles G.; Gaskill, Steven; Domitrovich, Joe; McNamara, Marcy; Knutson, Brian; Spear, Alysha. 2011. Wildland firefighters and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). In: McCaffrey, Sarah M.; Fisher, Cherie LeBlanc, eds. 2011. Proceedings of the second conference on the human dimensions of wildland fire. Gen. Tech. Rep. NRS-P-84. Newtown Square, PA: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Forest Service, Northern Research Station: 9-13.

“Reading the book, I diagnose you with ADD,” Maté said, referring to the Duke of Sussex’s autobiography, Spare. “I see it as a normal response to normal stress, not a disease.”

Maté, author of Scattered Minds: The Origin and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder and The Myth of Normal, also diagnosed the prince with anxiety, panic disorder, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and substance abuse issues during the 90-minute, live-streamed event, which has been described as both unorthodox and reckless.

Maté made his diagnosis before meeting the prince and, admittedly, based his evaluation solely on stories of grief, trauma, and substance abuse from Spare. In his past work, Maté has called ADHD a “normal response to normal stress,” which he says may be healed without medication. In last week’s conversation, he suggested Prince Harry’s ADHD stemmed from his childhood, especially the death of his mother, Princess Diana, when he was just 12.

There is a lot to unpack here and so much ADHD misinformation to correct. Here, leading ADHD experts address Maté’s claims regarding ADHD and trauma, respond to his spontaneous diagnosis, and fact-check his treatment advice.

[Download This Free Guide to Debunking ADHD Myths]

Can Clinicians Diagnose ADHD Based on a Patient’s Life Story?

In short, no.

“An accurate and well-rounded ADHD diagnosis is a complex, multi-step process including a clinical interview, a medical history review, and the completion of normed rating scales by loved ones, educators, and/or colleagues,” says Thomas E. Brown, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who served on the clinical faculty of the Yale School of Medicine for 21 years and has published six books on ADHD.

Only a medical professional, such as a pediatrician, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or an advanced practice registered nurse (APRN), should diagnose ADHD. An in-depth, well-rounded ADHD evaluation comprises several components, explains Brown, the director of the Brown Clinic for Attention and Related Disorders in California.

First, Brown says, a clinician will determine whether the patient has the ADHD symptoms listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-Fifth Edition (DSM-V). (A patient must have shown at least six of the nine symptoms of inattention and/or hyperactivity and impulsivity before age 12.) Next, the clinician will conduct an interview with the individual (and, if possible, with one or two people who know that person well) or refer the patient to a medical or mental health clinician who is familiar with ADHD and with the other medical or psychological disorders that produce similar symptoms, Brown explains.

“A good clinical interview may take two to three hours, including time explaining to the patient what we now understand about ADHD and what it means for them,” he said in the ADDitude article, “The Building Blocks of a Good ADHD Diagnosis.”

[Self-Test: Common ADHD Symptoms in Adults ]

The clinician should use normed ADHD rating scales, such as the Barkley, BASC, Brown, Conners, or BRIEF scales, to gather self-reported information from the patient and observer information from parents, teachers, partners, or others who have seen how this individual has functioned over recent months and previously in various aspects of daily life.

“A clinician should also conduct a complete physical exam to rule out medical problems, such as thyroid conditions or pinworms,” Brown says. A physical exam can also assess whether an individual can safely take ADHD medication.

A complete assessment may take several visits and/or visits with an ADHD specialist.

Does Trauma Cause ADHD?

Not exactly. Studies show that experiencing trauma increases a patient’s chances of being diagnosed with ADHD. However, research does not support the idea that trauma causes ADHD.¹

“Research does tell us that ADHD is a condition that’s largely genetic and inherited and that it causes specific areas of the brain to be underdeveloped or otherwise impacted,” says Nicole M. Brown, M.D., MPH, MHS, a general pediatrician and health services researcher and Chief Health Officer of Strong Children Wellness Medical Group in New York.

“Because trauma affects those same areas of the brain, it exacerbates ADHD symptoms,” she said in the ADDitude webinar titled How Stress and Trauma Affect ADHD in Children of All Colors — and How to Heal the Wounds. Her research on the topic was published in Academic Pediatrics, the official journal of the Academic Pediatric Association.

“ADHD is a brain-based disorder often diagnosed after a child struggles in school, or even later in life,” adds Kerry J Heckman, LICSW, a Seattle-based licensed therapist specializing in somatic therapy for the treatment of trauma. “Trauma is the result of exposure to stressful events or experiences that can occur anytime during a person’s life. Childhood trauma that occurs when the brain develops may lead to cognitive and emotional changes resembling ADHD.”

Epigenetics, which the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines as “the study of how your behaviors and environment can cause changes that affect the way your genes work,” sheds some light on how environmental factors and experiences, such as trauma, may impact brain development. However, ADHD is not solely a result of trauma.

“It starts with genes,” says Joel Nigg, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, and professor in the departments of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Oregon Health & Science University. “But everyone is exposed to different environmental toxins and advantages beginning at conception — and after we’re born, psychological inputs like stress, adversity, and even trauma begin to factor in. Epigenetics uses this input to change how genes are expressed — meaning a gene’s output isn’t fully known until environmental and personal histories are factored in.” Nigg further explained how epigenetics affects ADHD in the ADDitude webinar titled Genes and the Environment: How Biology and Exposures Contribute to ADHD in Children.

Can ADHD Be “Healed?”

No silver-bullet solution or magic elixir exists for ADHD; it is a lifelong condition that persists well into adulthood for most people who have it.

The best treatment for managing the core symptoms of ADHD in children is a combination of behavioral parent training and medication. Stimulants (methylphenidate and/or amphetamine) are considered a first-line pharmacological treatment for adult ADHD.² Several types of non-stimulants (considered second-line treatments) can address ADHD symptoms as well.

Even medication can’t “cure” ADHD. “There is no ‘cure’ that we know of,” said Larry Silver, M.D., a psychiatrist, and former Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington, D.C. “Think about a person with diabetes on insulin. Insulin corrects a chemical deficiency and allows a person to metabolize sugar. Once it wears off, however, the person can no longer do this. At this time, we can’t correct the problem, only compensate for it, and medication is an effective approach.” Silver was the former Acting Director and Deputy Director of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

Laurie Dupar, PMHNP, RN, PCC, a senior certified ADHD coach, trained psychiatric nurse, and founder of the International ADHD Coach Training Center, agrees with Silver. “We know from years of research that ADHD medications work — in fact, studies show they work up to 80% of the time,” she says.

Adults should expect to work closely with their physicians to adjust medication and dosage and to find the right ADHD treatment combination to alleviate symptoms.

For those individuals with ADHD who cannot or prefer not to take medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, nutrition, meditation, exercise, lifestyle changes, and/or brain training, among other natural treatments, may help alleviate or lesson some ADHD symptoms like poor focus and memory.

Can Individuals with ADHD Effectively Self-Medicate with Marijuana and Psychedelic Drugs?

The Duke of Sussex and Maté talked candidly about the benefits of drinking ayahuasca, a plant-based psychedelic from South America.

“I would say it [taking ayahuasca] is one of the fundamental parts of my life that changed me and helped me deal with the traumas and pains of the past,” Prince Harry said. He also described his experiences using cocaine, smoking marijuana, and trying magic mushrooms (Psilocybin).

While some individuals with ADHD seek alternatives to first-line treatments, research does not support the idea that illegal substances assuage ADHD symptoms. According to Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D., a Clinical Psychologist and Clinical Instructor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, the risk of developing cannabis use disorder (CUD), a problematic pattern of cannabis use linked to clinically significant impairment, is twice as high in people with ADHD.³

“Contrary to popular belief, individuals can be mentally and chemically dependent on and addicted to cannabis. Contemporary marijuana has concentrations of THC higher than historically reported, exacerbating this. What’s more, the adverse effects of cannabis are especially amplified in people with ADHD,” he says.

Cannabis use may also exacerbate paranoia, panic, and mood disorders, explains Olivardia. Further, the increased risk of suicide associated with cannabis use further complicates marijuana among individuals with ADHD, who already face an elevated risk for suicide compared to neurotypical individuals.⁴

“The substance’s negative effects are most harmful to developing brains,” Olivardia says. “Many studies show that usage earlier in life, particularly before age 25, predicts worse outcomes. One study found that heavy marijuana use in adolescence was associated with a loss of 8 IQ points, on average, in adulthood.⁵ Another study found that people under 18 are four to seven times more at risk for CUD than adults.⁶  Olivardia discussed marijuana and the ADHD brain in the ADDitude webinars titled Marijuana and the ADHD Brain: How to Identify and Treat Cannabis Use Disorder in Teens and Young Adults and Marijuana and the ADHD Brain, Part 2.

The use of very low (micro) doses of psychedelics, such as LSD and psilocybin, appears promising for treating symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, cluster headaches, and ADHD; however, additional research is required and these treatments are not without risks, cautions psychologist Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., and Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, Ph.D., NCC, LMHC, an AMHCA Diplomate and Clinical Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling. They stressed that psychedelics can potentially worsen symptoms of bipolar disorder or lead to psychosis and said that “these drugs are illegal unless they are administered in medical or research settings.”

Why Is a Public ADHD “Diagnosis” Like Prince Harry’s So Dangerous?

Doctor-patient confidentiality prohibits doctors from sharing patients’ medical information with others. It appears Maté disregarded this by diagnosing Prince Harry with ADHD in a public — and profit-generating — setting. Access to the interview required purchasing a $25 ticket (ticket holders received a hardcover copy of Spare.).

According to the American Academy of Family Physicians website, “a confidential relationship between physician and patient is essential for the free flow of information necessary for sound medical care. Only in a setting of trust can a patient share the private feelings and personal history that enable the physician to comprehend fully, to diagnose logically, and to treat properly.”

ADHD is not globally understood. Myths and misinformation abound, leading to systematic barriers to helping and supporting adults and children with ADHD. Some people falsely believe ADHD is a fake disorder, an excuse for bad behavior, or a pharmacological fairy tale. None of these things is true, but that doesn’t change the fact that enduring stigma impacts how and whether adults with ADHD choose to share their diagnosis.

The UK did not recognize ADHD until the publication of the NICE (National Institute of Clinical Excellence) Clinical guideline CG72 in 2008.⁷ According to a 2022 study published in BMC Psychiatry, before that time, there was an enormous amount of skepticism about ADHD and virtually no recognition of it in the UK.⁸

“While the last two decades have seen a stepped change and increase in the provision of adult ADHD clinical services in the UK and elsewhere, demand currently outstrips provision by a long way in many regions and countries,” the study’s authors wrote.

ADHD is treated as more of a “niche problem,” they wrote, “with diagnosis, treatment initiation and monitoring frequently constrained to scarce specialist services with limited capacity.”

By offhandedly diagnosing a public figure, Maté diminishes the experience of many people with ADHD in Europe who already struggle to access care.

The ADHD Foundation, UK’s leading neurodiversity charity, tweeted: “Gabor Maté — it is neither ethical nor appropriate to tell someone for the first time, — in a public interview, that they have ADHD. It is for the individual to decide whether to disclose their neurodiversity.”

Debunking Prince Harry’s ADHD “Diagnosis:” Next Steps

• Download: 31 ADHD Myths in 31 Days —Debunked
• Learn: The Brain Circuits that Link ADHD and PTSD
• Read: 21 Ignorant Comments (and Lies) About ADHD 
• Q: Who Can Diagnose ADHD? 
• eBook: Secrets of the ADHD Brain 

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Sources

¹Brown, N.M., Brown, S.N., Briggs, R.D., Germán, M., Belamarich, P.F., Oyeku, S.O. (2017) Associations Between Adverse Childhood Experiences and ADHD Diagnosis and Severity. Acad Pediatr.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.acap.2016.08.013

²Kolar, D., Keller, A., Golfinopoulos, M., Cumyn, L., Syer, C., & Hechtman, L. (2008). Treatment of Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment. 4(2), 389–403.https://doi.org/10.2147/ndt.s6985

³Lee, S. et. al. (2011). Prospective Association of Childhood Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Substance Use and Abuse/Dependence: A Meta-Analytic Review. Clinical Psychology Review. 31(3), 328–341. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2011.01.006

⁴Balazs, J., & Kereszteny, A. (2017). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Suicide: A Systematic Review. World Journal of Psychiatry. 7(1), 44–59. https://doi.org/10.5498/wjp.v7.i1.44

⁵Meier, M, et. al. (2012). Persistent Cannabis Users Show Neuropsychological Decline from Childhood to Midlife. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 109 (40) E2657-E2664; https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1206820109

⁶Winters, K. C., & Lee, C. Y. (2008). Likelihood of Developing an Alcohol and Cannabis Use Disorder During Youth: Association with Recent Use and Age. Drug and Alcohol Dependence. 92(1-3), 239–247. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2007.08.005

⁷NICE. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: The NICE Guideline on Diagnosis and Management of ADHD in Children, Young People and Adults: The British Psychological Society and The Royal College of Psychiatrists; 2008.

⁸Asherson, P., Leaver, L., Adamou, M., et al. (2022) Mainstreaming Adult ADHD into Primary Care in the UK: Guidance, Practice, and Best Practice Recommendations. BMC Psychiatry. 22, 640 https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-022-04290-7</a?

Here, we examine the effectiveness of three of these:

Lion’s Mane

Lion’s mane is a mushroom marketed as delivering “brain-boosting benefits.” As with many proposed alternative treatments, it claims to treat many symptoms and conditions, including anxiety, depression, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, and multiple sclerosis. Given the vastly different causes of these conditions, it is highly improbable that one intervention could provide universal benefit.

The websites we reviewed, which touted the shaggy white mushroom, acknowledged the dearth of published research studies examining the use of lion’s mane for ADHD. No research shows that it impacts the production or transmission of dopamine, the primary neurotransmitter involved in ADHD. Instead, the product’s marketers cite research done on animals or in test tubes that suggest the potential for general cognitive or health benefits and propose that it could benefit ADHD — without citing any clinical studies on humans for support.

More research is needed on humans to determine if lion’s mane has therapeutic effects.

Micro-Dosing Psychedelics

The use of very low (micro) doses of psychedelics, such as LSD and psilocybin, is gaining renewed interest for treating anxiety and depression. Some experts say these psychedelics might also show promise for treating symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, cluster headaches, and ADHD. These treatments are not without risks, however, at least at higher doses. It is important to know that psychedelics can potentially exacerbate symptoms of bipolar disorder or lead to psychosis. These drugs are illegal unless they are administered in medical or research settings.

[Download: Best Natural Remedies for Managing ADHD Symptoms]

Some studies have examined micro-dosing psychedelics for ADHD, but the results involved self-reported benefits; there was no control group. A clinical trial is underway in Europe using a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled design, the gold standard for medication research. Results are expected in late 2023 and will offer much more helpful conclusions. The use of psychedelics over an extended period of time would also need to be studied, both for ongoing effectiveness (assuming short-term effectiveness is found) and also for safety.

Mega-Dosing Caffeine

Caffeine is the most popular brain-altering chemical that improves alertness, attention, and focus, at least briefly, for many people. Caffeine may improve memory, learning, complex problem-solving, mental stamina, and more. If you are sleep-deprived, mentally fatigued, or experiencing a mid-day dip in energy, caffeine may provide a temporary boost.

But the faster you consume caffeine, and the more concentrated it is, the quicker your blood levels of caffeine rise. Generally, caffeine has a six-hour half-life, meaning half of the blood levels are metabolized every six hours. Drinking more coffee than your system can tolerate may cause irritability, higher heart rate, jitteriness, headaches, anxiety, insomnia, or restless sleep. The combination of caffeine and prescription stimulants can worsen these side effects.

There is no research-supported evidence that caffeine is a valid treatment for ADHD. While it provides general cognitive benefits, caffeine doesn’t activate the parts of the brain that improve executive functioning, as prescription stimulants do.

[eBook: The ADDitude Guide to Treating ADHD Naturally]

Lion’s Mane, Psychedelics, & Caffeine: Next Steps

• Download: 5 All-Natural ADHD Supplements
• Readers Share: Favorite Non-Medical Therapies for ADHD
• Read: 10 Foods (and Supplements and Vitamins!) to Boost Your ADHD Brain

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This is particularly true at the office. Despite workplace legal protections like the American Disabilities Act, many ADDitude readers report trepidations and reservations about revealing their diagnoses at work. Others report that they have made the leap of faith — to receive accommodations, address symptoms, or bust myths (yes, ADHD is real).

Disclosing your ADHD is entirely up to you. Keep reading to discover the reasons why ADDitude readers have (or haven’t) revealed their diagnosis at work — plus who they told and if they regret doing so.

“I work at an elementary school, and my boss and colleagues know I have ADHD. My principal has ADHD, and so do her children, so she understands my strengths and weaknesses more. Most teachers have little to no knowledge of ADHD. I’ve become an advocate on campus for some of our most ‘difficult’ students struggling with untreated ADHD. Sometimes I forget there are stigmas against ADHD, but I’ve made it a point to be open about my diagnosis so they remember the kids are people too, who need support, and are capable of amazing things.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I told my boss I thought I had ADHD while going through a diagnosis. He laughed and said, ‘We all have ADHD.’ I went to HR about it, and HR did nothing. I ended up quitting because they were incredibly unsupportive in so many ways.” — An ADDitude Reader

[Upcoming Webinar: “Invisible” Disabilities at Work]

“I told [my colleagues] simply because I felt comfortable doing so. They are not judgmental; most of them have ADHD as well! It just came up in casual conversation and I have never regretted telling them. They help me when I’m having difficulties, relate to my experiences, and overall make the work environment a more enjoyable place.” — Connor, Michigan

“…I have told some colleagues at work that I have ADHD. I believe I also mentioned it to my district manager, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. I’m still criticized for having a messy desk, for my under-par time management, for hyperfocusing and running out of time to take lunch (or dinner), for talking too much to customers, for having difficulty with prioritizing, etc. People just don’t see [ADHD] as real. Or, it is still my fault that I don’t fix these flaws, especially in business at the age of 54. Even though I am manager material, I am looked at as being not ready, yet I have as many if not more skills for the position then a lot of the other managers. And I get tired of apologizing for being emotional.” — Karen, Ontario

“I have done it twice, and both times I felt like the information I divulged was used against me. Accommodations were not forthcoming even when I asked.” — Steve, Minnesota

“I haven’t mentioned [my ADHD], although I am always tempted. I feel like most people see ADHD as made up, and they’ll assume I am making excuses. I work in finance (private equity) where I think that attitudes are less understanding. The bottom line is I wish I could because of what feels like constant anxiety from not getting things done, fear of taking on big projects that require real planning, etc. I still have no idea how long things take to do!” — An ADDitude reader

[Directory: Find an ADHD Specialist Near You]

“When I started with my current client, he asked me if I had ADHD. I laughed and said that I am just a bit scatterbrained. Over the next few months, he would often point out things I did that reminded him of his nephew who has ADHD. Then a few years later, I got tested and found out he was right! I have been very open about my diagnosis with everyone and have not regretted it. It helped several friends also get tested; they found that they had ADHD too!” — Julie, Washington

“In brief, I prefer not to tell. My employer would see [ADHD] as an illness and accuse me of every failure because of that reason. Average people here see the negatives of ADHD, blame it as an illness, and do not exhibit the intellectualism to accept that ADHD breeds positive aspects too. I am an engineer and a manager in the research and development field, which requires creativity, but employers think that people should be standard and like to cast in the same mold.” — Kutlu, Turkey

“I told my manager at work about my ADHD. It’s particularly useful for when things get a bit overwhelming, or I need time off for therapy. I didn’t share the info with my colleagues, though, because I didn’t want them to overthink their behavior around me. I also think that regardless of whether someone is atypical, we should treat everyone with kindness. I don’t see eye to eye with two people at work and don’t want the lack of accountability for their behavior to be blamed on my ADHD.” — Martha, Ireland

“…I shared [my diagnosis] with my manager who I trust as a good leader and mentor. She was very understanding and supportive, however what ensued with HR was not a positive experience. Little did I know, someone in middle management had taken issue with aspects of my performance… While no one had ever formally addressed these concerns with me directly, HR began insisting that I ‘voluntarily’ get my doctors to report on my diagnosis and the impact this would have on my job. I resisted this immense pressure… I didn’t realize you could be discriminated against for having a disability (at a university), but I’ve since learned that multiple other neurodivergent staff have faced the same discrimination.” — An ADDitude reader

“As a social worker, I just started a new job with an agency that appears to be very open and accommodating. I have ADHD to a pretty significant degree and it affects my work performance, especially the way I learn and process things. Early on, talking to my supervisor, I just came out and told her, ‘I have ADHD and sometimes it makes my processing of information challenging. I have to write things down or I forget, and… I’m an experiential learner; I need to do it to know it.’ She was fine with this and said, ‘No problem, thanks for communicating this. If you need any assistance or help, let me know.’ It was that simple. I think the way you communicate the challenge goes a long way.” — Mick, Pennsylvania

“I personally would not say anything unless I needed ADA accommodations to save me from being terminated for cause. I’m in HR and if you can meet the task, there’s no need to say anything. That’s my opinion. Pick jobs that give you freedom and lax deadlines instead. Accommodate yourself by setting yourself up for success.” — An ADDitude reader

ADHD Accommodations at Work: Next Steps

• Download: What to Ask Yourself to Find the Perfect Job
• Read: The Case for Hiding Your ADHD Diagnosis at Work
  
• Read: Help Wanted? How to Get the Accommodations You Need

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You can’t control stressful situations, but you can control your reactions by building metacognition skills. Metacognition is an awareness of your thought processes and patterns. This executive function can help you monitor and evaluate your thoughts and behaviors without judgment when experiencing anger, thereby changing your emotional reactivity.

In this download, you will learn the following:

• How to boost your emotional regulation skills
• How to respond when you’re mildly uncomfortable, activated, or on high alert
• How to build metacognition skills
• How to monitor your thoughts and behaviors
• How to improve anger management
• And much more!

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

In one of my earliest memories, I’m at a restaurant with my parents talking excitedly about something, only to be sharply shushed. “Listen!” my parents say to me. “Do you hear anyone else talking as loudly as you are?”

It was the first time I learned that I was expected to behave like everyone else, and that I was falling short at that. That same lesson would show up throughout my childhood; I was in constant trouble at home for doing things that felt out of my control — things I would only realize many years later were symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD. It was the same situation in school, except the color of my skin made me an even larger target.

A Visible Minority with Undiagnosed ADHD

At an ultra-white French-immersion school in a primarily white city in Canada, I was already different enough. Undiagnosed ADHD only amplified my otherness.

I was told my hair was “not normal,” so my mother straightened it with harsh chemicals. I looked slightly more palatable, but I paid a high price by damaging my hair and scalp.

I will never forget the day we were instructed to draw portraits. One of my classmates looked at the dark face I drew and said, “Eww, why would you make your person brown?” I heard comments like these all the time.

[Read: “I Could Have Been Myself for So Much Longer”]

Every stereotype I didn’t fulfill was an excuse for more mockery. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been at the receiving end of comments about my lack of rhythm or inability to dance. (I later learned that clumsiness is common in ADHD.) I still remember my teammates’ disappointment when I failed to live up to the expectation that my Blackness would make me automatically good at sports. (In retrospect, I can see that failure in athletics was less about raw ability and more about my inability to understand the rules of any sport.)

My peers called me “weird” because I struggled to read social cues. My teachers frequently relocated my desk to the hallway to stop me from talking to my classmates, or to drown out the sound of my voice, as I often had to read aloud to myself to understand the material.

Why My ADHD Was Overlooked

It’s said that children with ADHD receive 20,000 negative messages about themselves by age 10 — likely far more than their neurotypical counterparts. This negative messaging did not abate as I got older. Undiagnosed ADHD in high school meant I rushed through assignments, crammed for tests, and often lost my schoolwork. My friends teased me for being “random” and hinted that I was of lower intelligence due to my struggles in school. And as a visible minority, my teachers and others were quick to view me as rebellious, lazy, irresponsible, messy, and rude — and couldn’t fathom that I was struggling with a neurodevelopmental condition.

ADHD is highly hereditary and (while far be it from me to diagnose others) my parents, also distracted and forgetful, didn’t see anything “off” about the challenges I faced just to manage everyday life. My academic career was certainly not helped by the fact that they couldn’t help me keep track of my assignments, or drop me off at school on time.

[Read: Why ADHD Is Different for People of Color]

I know stigma in my community partially explains why I didn’t receive help early on. My family also saw mental health issues as spiritual problems to be prayed about, not as problems that required medical treatment. General distrust of the medical system, which has historically been discriminatory and harmful toward visible minorities, was also a factor.

Older, Wiser, and Hopeful

As an adult — and finally armed with the knowledge of my diagnosis — I may be wiser and more capable, but the challenges of being a neurodivergent person of color are ever present. Some people perceive me as too loud, talkative, irresponsible, lazy, or “out there.” I still hear ignorant comments about my ethnic background, and I’ve been the victim of racial stereotyping and discrimination at work. I’ve also been dismissed from positions after I disclosed my ADHD diagnosis.

Experiencing double discrimination is not easy. Still, I have hope that current and future generations will work to ensure that people like me are given the same opportunities that others have, from early diagnosis and treatment to unconditional acceptance and respect.

Racial Discrimination and Undiagnosed ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: Why We Must Achieve Equitable ADHD Care for African American and Latinx Children
• Read: We Need to Talk About ADHD Stigma in BIPOC Communities
• Read: Having “The Talk” with Black Children Impacted by ADHD and Race
• Read: The Ultimate ADD Accommodation — Ending the Systemic Oppression That Leaves Me Unbelieved, Untrusted, Unsupported

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